Why is it sometimes so difficult to like the people I love? I am a passionate person and I love pretty intensely…but when it gets crazy, I feel all of my other emotions with equal passion. Believe me: it is good to be on the receiving end of my love; it is not so great being on the other end of either my indifference or my anger.
Tonight I am pretty much put-out with Hub-O-Matic, to say the least. I am tired of being the bad guy; I am tired of being the only one to put forth 100% effort with little return; I am tired of giving more than I receive…and I’m tired of waiting for it all to turn around.
I know that in a couple of days I won’t even remember feeling this way. I know that he will redeem himself and that I am more in love than not in love (which is pretty damn good for 15 years), but still. Sometimes I feel forgotten–and I think I deserve better. I think I deserve the best…and sometimes I feel like he doesn’t even give me left-overs.
I’m just being pissy. I wonder, sometimes, though. I really do. I wonder why I even put forth an effort–no one else seems to…
*le sigh*
Ah, well. Tomorrow is another day; right?
xoxo,
GoGo
Tags: Hub-O-Matci, Marriage
GoGo
April 17th, 2009 at 7:28 am
After reading your thoughts I wonder why I never ask myself those questions? Carol and I will have been married 30 years next month-I wonder if I am giving enough in our marriage? I would say Carol and I have a good marriage-I think my wife looks at our marriage as a Christian-we both realize our marriage can not bring us perfect happiness-fulfillment-purpose-it is a mystery marriage-I would say if you know your husband loves you then be thankful-there are good days and bad days-relationships are hard-for us marriage is till death does separate us-it is blessing to grow old with someone-through the good times and bad times-so look your lover in his eyes and tell him you love him-praise the Lord for love.
April 17th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Okay! That was pretty much exactly what I needed to read, Darkcloud–and, I’ve “known” you for about 5 years now and have always respected not only your writing, but your opinions and the way you live your life. Thank you so much for putting it into such a simple and accessible perspective for me, and for pointing out what is most important: I do know that my husband loves me…and I am grateful.
Thank you so much!!!
Love and Belief,
xoxo,
GoGo
April 17th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
I agree with Dark Cloud. Be thankful that he does love you but remember that you deserve the best also.I thnk every marriage is a work in progress. My personal philosophy is to be good to myself and even better to my lovely wife. That works for me because she is such a darling person and does the same thing for me. May you and yours have a wonderful weekend!