Why is it sometimes so difficult to like the people I love? I am a passionate person and I love pretty intensely…but when it gets crazy, I feel all of my other emotions with equal passion. Believe me: it is good to be on the receiving end of my love; it is not so great being on the other end of either my indifference or my anger.
Tonight I am pretty much put-out with Hub-O-Matic, to say the least. I am tired of being the bad guy; I am tired of being the only one to put forth 100% effort with little return; I am tired of giving more than I receive…and I’m tired of waiting for it all to turn around.
I know that in a couple of days I won’t even remember feeling this way. I know that he will redeem himself and that I am more in love than not in love (which is pretty damn good for 15 years), but still. Sometimes I feel forgotten–and I think I deserve better. I think I deserve the best…and sometimes I feel like he doesn’t even give me left-overs.
I’m just being pissy. I wonder, sometimes, though. I really do. I wonder why I even put forth an effort–no one else seems to…
*le sigh*
Ah, well. Tomorrow is another day; right?
xoxo,
GoGo
GoGo